Round 13, 2021
St Kilda 4.3, 7.6, 8.9, 8.12 (60)
Adelaide Crows 0.0, 2.6, 6.6, 9.12 (66)
Crowd: 5,969 at Cazalys Stadium, Saturday, June 12th at 7.25pm
What started as the weekly whinge masquerading as a match “review”, like this is Pitchfork or something, ended up being a de facto mid-season review, or, just really a chance to collect my thoughts about what the hell has happened this year.
Taking a step back reveals an uglier picture than being in the weekly washing machine of lurching between pastings and moments of redemption. The West Coast win planted a seed into our heads that for every 86-point loss on a Thursday night there might be some sort of redemption just a week later; for every Max King or Jack Higgins miss that frittered away a chance to beat a premiership fancy (or similar) we may just be goal kicking practice away from solving all our issues (insert 2009 Grand Final inaccuracy reference here).
Much like we did against very unfancied North Melbourne and Fremantle last year (the latter with almost identical margin flips), we reannounced ourselves last Saturday night as a team with a flat-track bully streak. The Geelong, Sydney and West Coast (and GWS) performances aren’t enough to outweigh all the evidence to the contrary – we really CBF when things get tough. We’re back to playing like millionaires, exactly what we did when Brad Hill adorned the front page of the AFL Record heading into the Fremantle match last year as we emerged as a potential glamour and destination team.
The club again shrouded in questions about the mental – and perhaps physical – fortitude of the side that were asked earlier in the year, or at least it was before the week descended into a circus around Seb Ross and Tim Membrey and then whether what happened to Hunter Clark’s head was more within the laws of the than it was of legal consequence to the AFL in the years to come.
***
Who else can give up a game in which commentators are legitimately talking about the opposition being held scoreless for an entire half, and that record’s rare place in history? Adelaide’s 0.0 became of increasing interest as the second quarter furthered. They didn’t score until beyond the halfway mark of the second quarter, at all.
Until that point it all looked pretty slick. It felt right – you think it’s all working again, especially after another performance against a decent team in which only the goal kicking let you down. Mason Wood pulled out a couple of early goals with some slick moves, enough to prompt a teasing betting company-uses-meme Twitter post. Transition was slick. Dunstan pulled out the most direct and efficient single disposal of his career, a mark behind the centre circle, turn and long kick to the chest of Max King. Max had a couple of goals in the first half, including an excellent bit of body work at the top of the square and finesse to soccer through a goal.
Crouch was massive again. Steele is entering “needless to say” territory. Highmore was great across half back. Contested possession up by 20 at quarter time (we would end up losing it).
There were still moments of millionaire madness. Luke Darcy’s proclamation that Butler won’t miss was met with Butler missing. Lonie’s banana attempt at goal from a nothing angle. Higgins missed more set shots at goal, Max missed some too. All of this didn’t appear to matter while the Crows were still in the process of realising they were actually out on the ground. But once they did the result was two-and-a-half quarters in the making, never mind late goals in the second.
Yet again a St Kilda team was wiped away, or disappears. Maybe it chooses to, I don’t know. Maybe it chooses to just relax. There’s no killer instinct. The team wasn’t exhausted just beyond the midway point of the second quarter. Is it the effort? The effort (the lack of) seems to get a lot of the blame from the coaches. Do we just not try hard enough? Really, from the time Adelaide skittled through a few behinds, St Kilda was anonymous. Forward entries had no real design or intent, and any rare goals that slipped through (only three from that point, and none for the final hour) appeared to be met with relief.
This was going to be an Adelaide win, even if it took both of an umpire on the goal line saying “you tried to stop him from marking” to a defender, and a freak goal from a prodigy. The St Kilda extremes of bemusement and, well…bemusement. These things bend back on themselves and end up in a similar place.
And of course, the way it happens gives the opposition their own amazing highlight and hero. The Saints love making heroes of the opposition. Shane Ellen, Troy Wilson, Eric Mackenzie. The record will show Riley Thilthorpe kicked the last two goals of the game to win it off his own boot, including the winner over his head. McKay looks like a hero after Hamish had only reminded most of us early on in the broadcast that he still existed. Now he’s got more of a presence and profile than he ever did, lauded by his coach in the wash-up, free to play next week.
***
Our next game is a Friday night date with Richmond at the MCG (or, wherever it will be). We were destroyed by this team last time in a prime time slot; around that time we were drawn to play the Cats on a Friday night and considered a laughing stock by an annoyed public. We almost – almost – showed the football world we were better than that. But we didn’t, and we aren’t, and we are now in the midst of an internal review.
We’re also in the midst of a whole lot of mixed messaging and confusion. The club jumped at any going near a “Missy Higgins” headline, but behind closed doors was annoyed by Seb Ross and Tim Membrey spending time with their partners and newborns (and newborns-to-be). We want to be dynasty team, according to David Rath in the members’ forum held during the week, but after loading up at the last couple of trade periods the President’s letter from Andrew Basset suggested the “genuine window” would be open in 2022 more than 2021. Grant Thomas didn’t like like the revisionism, saying it could easily be used – and, evidently, has been used – as a get-out-of-jail card. Do you hold an internal review if you feel like you’re on the brink? Only if you’re thinking some big changes will do it. Because a global pandemic won’t. A vaccine won’t. Not another lockdown.
Is it the name “St Kilda”? Should we have included “Moorabbin” in the club’s name as initially intended? We’d had 92 years without a premiership preceding the actual move to Moorabbin, so it’s not the plot of land at Linton Street. The red, yellow and black wasn’t wildly more successful than the usual red, white and black.
We’re back to this just being a lifestyle. Any path that appeared to be laid out before us during last year has again become overgrown. Perhaps we’re experiencing a Melbourne-style blip; until we watch them end another long premiership drought, comparisons with Geelong 2006 and Richmond 2016 remain far-fetched. St Kilda playing is again something that just happens on the weekend. I learned that I could hate the club in 2018. The Road to 2018 was actually a road to 2020 (they didn’t need to not factor a pandemic into things to get this wrong), and made as a PR exercise in response to a bewildered fan base. They even changed the fucking song for fuck’s sake.
The St Kilda circus rolls on. It’s hard to keep caring. The only willing I felt last Saturday night was for the game to end. We knew what the result was going to be, the only thing we were waiting for was to see what it actually physically looked like, recorded on camera in high-definition video and audio. It’s beyond “If you don’t laugh, you’ll cry”. The joke’s worn thin and there’s nothing else to lose.